To the tune of “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”, with thanks to Jonathan Martin for providing the inspiration. Oh, and my homie Will Smith.
Now, this is a story all about how
My people got distracted by a golden cow
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit down here
I’ll tell you how we wandered round the desert for 40 years.
In west Egypt, Nile-side, born and raised
On the building site was where I spent most of my days
a-slavin’ and a-bakin’ and a-makin’ some bricks
and spitting at Egyptians just to get me my kicks
When Moses and Aaron
Who were up to some good
Startin makin’ trouble in my neighborhood
They said, “Pharaoh, just release ‘em in for couple of days
Or else God is gonna kick your sorry butts with some plagues”
They begged and pleaded with him day after day
But he hardened his heart and he sent them away.
They gave him a warning- “Pharaoh, give us our tickets,
Or give God your butt, cause he’s going to kick it”
The plagues, they were whack
Gnats and boils on your back.
The firstborn sons were pushing up daisies
And Pharaoh kicked us out cause grief had driven him crazy.
We hadn’t got far when we came to the sea
And over our shoulder’s where the Pharaoh be!
But God cleared the way and he parted the waters
While Pharaoh drowned, we crossed with our sons and our daughters
Well, God took Moses to the top of a hill
While he got the laws, we stayed put and we chilled
We wanted us a new god and Aaron was told
So my homie Aaron made us all a calf out of gold.
At this point Moses came on down the slopes
When Mosie saw the golden calf, well, he nearly choked
He ground it up with water and made us all drink it
“Don’t ever make yourself a god, just don’t even THINK it!”
We came to the promised land but wouldn’t go in.
God saw this disobedience – he called it sin.
We looked upon the kingdom
But we never got in, though
Cause in our hearts we were still makin’ mud bricks for Pharaoh.