Scriptural Confusion and Getting Shot by Your Fiancee

Having read Rob V’s post about misunderstandings, I was reminded of something that happened to me before Naomi and I got married.

She’d been having a bad week, or a bad day or whatever and things were getting on top of her. I decided to text her a reference for an encouraging passage of scripture to look up. Maybe that would give her a boost.

I texted her the words “Look up Jeremiah 33:3. Hope this helps you” and retired to bed feeling like Mr Spiritual Encouragement, imagining Naomi lying there reading the words…

‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

Next day I said to her, so did you look it up? She glances at me with barely concealed hatred. “Yeah, but how’s THAT supposed to help?”
“What do you mean, how? Have you read it? Jeremiah 33:3?”
“Jeremiah 33:3??”
“Oh, I looked up Jeremiah 3:3”

I grab a Bible and then understand why she was looking at me as if she might be about to kill me. The ‘encouraging’ verse she looked up read…

“Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and no spring rains have fallen.
Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute;
you refuse to blush with shame.”


4 thoughts on “Scriptural Confusion and Getting Shot by Your Fiancee

  1. Rob V.

    You couldn’t make up a story like that! I laughed out loud! Glad to see it didn’t end things between you two. (Although I’m sure she feels a twinge now everytime you tell her to look something up, right?) =)

    You made me remember a story I heard. I think it’s a joke, but who knows?

    A guy wants a revelation for his life, closes his eyes, opens the Bible up blindly and points to a page – he believes the next verse he reads will be from God:

    “And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.”

    Uh.. Must have been a fluke, right? The next one then, that is from God:

    “Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

    Huh? No, no. The next one for sure:

    “And now why tarriest thou?”

  2. jeremy hunt

    hahaha…iMac, that’s absolutely hilarious. i’m telling April this story when i get home. and people wonder if God has a sense of humor.

  3. Iain MacKinnon Post author

    Isn’t it great? I’d actually forgotten how funny this was and burst out in an involuntary guffaw in class when I though of it. Poor girl should’ve run there and then while she had the chance…


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