Irritating Slogans #1

 Karen over at “Only Sometimes Clever” just blogged about Di-Tech’s irritating new slogan “People are Smart”. I realised quickly that I was annoyed by way too many advertising tag lines to merely write a comment on her blog, so here’s my list of ad slogans that bug me intensely.

“Because you’re worth it” (L’Oreal) – Ummm, no. Because your hair is dirty.

“Just Do It” (Nike) – Do what exactly? Macrame? Basket weaving?

“The Car in Front is a Toyota” (Toyota) – Not if you’re driving behind a Ford.

“Where Do You Want to Go Today?” (Microsoft) – To the Apple store, mate.

“Reach Out & Touch Someone” (AT&T) – …But only if you want to get charged with sexual harrassment.

“The Best a Man Can Get” (Gillette) – What a depressing thought…

“There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.” – Or alternatively, you could always try some actual money.

“Kills Bugs Dead”   (Raid) –  Better than “Kills Bugs Lightly Maimed”, for sure.

“Always Lowering Prices” (Curry’s) – Excellent! I’ll just wait, then.

“Probably the best lager in the world” (Carlsberg) – Hardly authoritative, is it?

“Red Bull Gives You Wings” – No, I think you’re mistaking  ‘wings’ for ‘heart palpitations’.

“There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s.”   – Just try using your ears.

“Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires”  –  What about that dude with the can of gas over there?

Oh, I could go on and on… Feel free to add your own!


5 thoughts on “Irritating Slogans #1

  1. Karen Joy

    😆 I like both your list and your comments. A number of them could be on my own list. I hate ALL “you deserve it” sort of taglines.

    On the “actual money” idea, there’s a new set of commercials from Visa that cause me to change the channel: They all show various scenes in various shops that all look like choreographed bits from a musical. Everyone, of course, is paying with a Visa. Then, some “dork” whips out a check, or CASH (gasp!) and people slam into each other, waiters drop plates, flowers wilt, the music grinds to a dischordant halt, and the “offender” glances around furtively, now ashamed to be paying with anything other than a Visa. —>loud screaming sound from me<—-

    And, yeah… I’ve tried the ears thing with a Reese’s. It didn’t work. 😀

  2. Kitana

    “U Can Count On A Queenslander” ( tourists Add) – for being unemployed and probably a con artist, moved interstate from another part of Australia because they have warrants out for their arrest!…lol

    “Italians do it better” – do what?? Fake Soccer Injury’s?, Hairier body’s?, More spaghetti sauce on their white T-shirts? or is it the amount of OIL left in the hair?…lol

    “Time heals all wounds” – Yeah….when your dead I don’t suppose you mind that much anymore

    “A Diamond is forever” – Or as long as ur marriage lasts then it’s striaght to the porn shop!

    “All we need is love” – Oxygen, Food and Water might also help!

    “Let your fingers do the walking” – obviously written by someone that has never tried walking on his fingers!!! OUCH!

    “The Ultimate Driving Machine” ( BMW ) – I think Pamela Anderson might have something to say about that!!!…lol

    “Making smoking ‘safe’ for smokers”(Bonded Tobacco Company) – Ummmmmmm…errrrr talk about an Oxy-Moron!

    “We’ll take more care of you” (British Airlines) – I shall remember that as the oxygen mask’s come down and I need a STIFF drink!

    “Make someone happy with a phone call” ( British Telecom)- OK so what part of HAPPY do Tele Marketers NOT understand???

    “It makes you feel like the man you are”-(Buick)- Ohh dear, thats a shame

    “We do it your way”- Burger King- ‘Great can I have 2 all- beef patty’s, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!’ (hahahah now THAT’s a slogan)

    “The milk chocolate that melts in your mouth – not in your hand” – M&M’s- Obviously you don’t live in an Australian summer???

    HAHAHAHAHA i am having fun now!!!!

    “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play” – MARS – And what about the 2 kilos extra a day as well???

    “We sell more cars than Ford, Chrysler, Chevrolet, and Buick combined” – Matchbox- Well get them to work, put ants in them and build road infrastructure, then put your PETROL prices in line with the others and lets see how you do then!

    “The sweet you can eat between meals (without ruining your appetite)”-MILKYWAY- Right, just your waist line right!!!

    “It could be YOU” – (National Lottery) – But it probably WONT be! Neena Neeeenerrrr!

    “If it feels good then just do it” – (Nike Shoes)- Worked for O.J.Simpson’s defense, so I guess it’s true!

    “Prolongs Active Life” – (PAL dog food) – Yes but what about the Flatulence warnings???

    “Some of our best men are women”-(United States Army) Ohhhhhhhhhhh THAT explains it!!!…

    AND LAST but certainly not LEAST

    “It’s so big, you’ve gotta grin to get it in” – WAGON WHEELS CHOCOLATE – hahah, now this one could be the slogan for a NUMBER of great electrical appliances!! *wink*

  3. Iain MacKinnon Post author

    Once you get going you realise how infuriating adverts tend to be. This is great fun! The “Let your fingers do the walking” one always bugged me too. Surely it would be easier to use your fingers in conjunction with the yellow pages and the phone buttons than that? Thanks M!!

    Keep em coming guys!

  4. Alastair

    “Reassuringly expensive” (Stella Artois) – yes, no doubt very reassuring for the Stella Artois executives. Not so much for the folk who have to pay for stuff.


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