Category Archives: Crazy People

Best Story EVER!

After a long blogging hibernation, I felt I had to share this one with you all. I was listening to a podcast from my sister-in-law’s church in Charlotte NC when this story was told, which originated from her husband. I laughed very loudly and publicly when I heard it and I’m still giggling now…

There’s a youth pastor who’s gone to a pentecostal church event in Georgia. This youth pastor is particularly hefty. Just a really big guy. Anyway, the meeting is progressing as one would expect. Towards the end of the meeting, things are starting to heat up a bit and people are praying and casting out spirits and all sorts. One woman in particular is getting right into this. She’s calling out spirits and demons left, right and centre.

She walks up to the very large youth pastor and says, “Spirit of obesity, in the name of Jesus, I command you to come out right now!”

The youth pastor (a particularly sharp witted guy) puts on a demonic, raspy voice and says…

“I will for a cookie!”

“Barack Obama Antichrist” posts getting super-scary…

This is rapidly moving from silly to scary.

This was originally going to be a reply to a previous blog comment, but it outgrew itself. I simply cannot believe some of the ideas and arguments being expressed by certain individuals. Things were bad before, but they suddenly got worse.

For those who have just dropped by, I’d better explain briefly. Over a year ago I expressed the opinion that I liked Barack Obama’s political and religious attitude. Some wingnut mentioned that they thought he was the Antichrist and to my horror, I noticed my blog stats climbing from people searching for “Barack Obama Antichrist”. I posted some tongue-in-cheek stuff mocking this a bit, but soon realised that a lot of people actually believed it. I got two comments today though that simply terrified me. I shall post the highlights here…

Pattie says, “He is and always will be a MUSLIM. … He goes to an all black church to cover up his being a muslim… No one but blacks will ever benefit from his presidency. He will make sure whites never have power again, trust me.”

This is so unbelieveably appalling that I’m not even going to try and argue with it. I’m just greatly saddened at the fact that such views could still be held in a so-called civilised country.

Then Robin says, “barack h obama is related to osama bin ladin ya know. obama is the anti-christ. how can americans vote for a muslim after the 911 inncodent? this is a christian nation and obama wants to take that away from america, obama said this is no more a christian nation . then what nation is it? everything that is happening tells all in the king james version holy bible in revelations.obama is the anti-christ, he was born to do just what he was trained to do all his life, take over the most powerfull nation and make it vulnerable and weak for the biggest war of all time. i will note vote for a muslim due to disrespect to america and the families that lost loved ones in the 911 twin towers and flight 193 and pentagon. its a terrible shame that america is going to be in prison to the anti-christ obama. i hope there is going to be a christian assassinater. obama is the son of hell , the devil.”

Where do I start? Robin, if you check your “King James version Holy Bible” you may discover that the book is called ‘Revelation’, not in fact ‘Revelations’. If your reading of the book of Revelation is as accurate as your reading of its title, then I think we can safely discount pretty much everything else you just said.

I have no idea if Obama said America was no longer a Christian nation, but anyone who does say it is right. It ISN’T. And nor is the UK. Both countries may have a moral and legal system that was originally founded on christian principles, but in no meaningful way could either nation be viewed as Christian. In any case, what is a ‘Christian nation’ anyway? Short of everyone in the USA being converted, it never has been and never will be a Christian nation. Nations aren’t christian; individual people are.

As for THIS – “i hope there is going to be a christian assassinater.” Good grief, people! What on EARTH are you saying?? You want the man DEAD??? This is beyond a joke. What could possibly stir up such hatred in a person?

I am shocked. I am deeply concerned. And above all I am saddened that  anyone, regardless of colour or creed, could possibly express such worrying thoughts, bigotry and prejudice. You want proof that America isn’t a christian nation? There it is, right there.

More Obama Antichrist Ranting: This is Getting RIDICULOUS.

Obama as viewed through Eschato-goggles

People, people…. I am getting seriously worried about some of you. Since my tongue-in-cheek “Is Barack Obama the Antichrist” post and my brazenly facetious numerology post, traffic to Mackle has been getting busier, up until a crazy explosion with the beginning of the primaries when my visits increased thirty-fold. As a Scot, I entered this whole field with the curious interest of an outside observer. What I’ve actually observed has been nothing short of terrifying.

The whole end-times/prophetic/eschatological guesswork obsession which is rife on Christian TV has obviously infiltrated the popular consciousness in a big way.

I include here a selection of my favourite soundbites from the comments on my assorted Obama blogs, complete with typos…

I strive to be ever so careful when discussing such issues and placing names. Still, when I see this guy, something sits “wierd” with me. (It could be the eccentric name) “

I have just spent the last 30 minutes reading posts about Barack being the antichrist… I thought the idea must be crazy, but my curiousity got the best of me and I did a quick Google search.”

“I never saw his face but only GEARD his words, and his voice and his tone and REALIZED that WTF this man is the antichrist. I never even knew Obama or who he was prior to that “

barack obama is a wierdo!! he resembles the anti christ! is there any way we can determine if he is or not?”

“It just so happens that Obama is the anti-christ. I believe so and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with any logic I have employed or any racist attitudes that I may have. Fact is, this man is the antichrist. It was weird how it was revealed to me …”

“…and here it is a year before elections and people already are set on him for president. Has that ever happen to a president before? NO…

“isn’t it said that the antichrist will die and then come back? well, isn’t his middle name hussein???”

“I don’t trust him one bit. I don’t for a second buy that he’s now “Christian.””

“Tonight the answer was right there in front of me. When he took the stage to give his Iowa Caucus Victory Speech he seemed cold and distant. “

“I had never heard of him before these elections, he has never really accomplished anything that I have been informed of, and to be perfectly honest, he has empty eyes, very empty eyes. I refuse to believe this man is a christian, I am a christian, that man is not.”

Oh, it goes on and on…

Look, folks. You may not like him. You may have racist attitudes you struggle with. You may have listened to too many end-times date-callers and watched too much TBN. You may think he’s creepy. You may think his policies are bad. You may think his haircut is bad. He may just give you the heebie-jeebies (as my wife feels!) but you can’t go around saying he’s not a christian and even more bizarrely claiming that he’s the Antichrist based on a combination of your Heebie-Jeebie feeling, your TBN habit and his Surname.

As a Christian, can I plead with the Christians on here to get on with loving God, living as salt and light, spreading the gospel and loving each other instead of getting hung up in eschatological craziness. Nobody knows who the Antichrist is – it hasn’t been revealed yet. In fact, who said it was a single person at all?? It could be a whole system, just as Babylon is a personified system. The point is that we have the victory in Christ, these things MUST happen (whoever they will involve and whenever they will occur) and calling dates, times, names and such just makes you look like idiots if you’re wrong, just as everyone who claimed to know who it was over the last 2000 years look like idiots now that it is apparent that they were talking nonsense.

Enough with the wild claims, people, and concentrate on living the life God called you to.

To quote Skank Bangerton (!!!!), the most profane commenter on my blog so far, and who added his nugget while I was composing this post…

Barack Obama may be the Antichrist. I doubt it.”

Macworld ’08 Rumors

Oh boy…The MWSF ’08 Rumor Mill is hitting full-grind now. So what’s it to be this year? Let’s face it, after last year’s iPhone mania, it’s bound to be something big simply to avoid losing momentum. A brand new gadget? A tablet mac? Steve wearing bootcut jeans?I would hazard a guess that due to iPhone saturation last year, this year is almost certain to be more mac-based. Bring on the hardware! So, if there’s gonna be new hardware, what are the possibilities?The obvious thing for me would be the portable line. With recent reports of 13.3″ LED backlit screen being delivered, it isn’t too much of a stretch to suppose that the long-fabled ultraportable MBP is in prep as we speak. I would say that’s almost a certainty. I’m also hoping like mad that Jonny Ive & his minions have been tinkering with the rest of the MBP line as well. There hasn’t been a significant form-factor change for the MBP for years now and I think the time is ripe. At least a macbook style keyboard would be nice…As for the other ranges, well, the iMac is a definite no-no. The mini, I suspect is beyond refreshing (would be nice to see it replaced by something else – how about resurrecting the cube!), the macPro should get a little speedbump (as if it needs one!) and the macbook will presumably stay as-is. The iPhone shouldn’t be refreshed yet as it’s only just been launched in 1.0 state in most places outside the US. The SDK will probably be shown off, I would imagine and the sales stats bragged about, but that should be all.Which only leaves us with the poor AppleTV. It’s do or die there I reckon. Either something spectacular happens to it or it’ll go the way of the iPod Hi Fi thing that was paraded a couple of years back! SURELY something will be done to it soon….What do you reckon? Go on and post your ideas. Let’s face it- we always guess and we’re always wrong, but it’s a huge amount of fun!EDIT – Well, according to Jim Goldman at CNBC, it looks like the ultraportable is definitely  on the cards: 50% thinner than the current MBPs, with no optical drive and  flash memory, retailing for around $1500.Will be interesting to see how that translates to pounds… A straight currency exchange would make that £740. Yeah right. The current mid range MBP sells in the US for $2499. That’s £1232. In the UK they cost £1599. What’s with the £367 increase? Entry level MBP – $1999 (£985). UK cost? £1299. £314 difference. The 17″? $2799 (£1380). UK price? £1799. £419 difference!! WHA???

Numerology Proves Barack Obama is the Antichrist

****** NB: To save me repeating myself again and again, be aware that this post employs SATIRE. Read the post, the comments and my responses properly before adding yet another stupid comment.******

Also, I’d really appreciate it if somebody read something OTHER than this post for a change. Go on. I’ve got some good uns!

*********************************************************************************************************

Well, after everything I’ve said in other posts, I’ve changed my mind. I got this comment on my blog the other day…

“the anti-christ has the numver 666.
check out the sum of VICARIVS FILII DEI in roman numerals.
It adds up to 666!

it was written on the pope’s chiara… long ago. but they changed it now.”

It was THEN that I realised that Numerology had the key to the Barack Obama mystery! So here it is: PROOF!!

Barack Obama was born on 8/4/1961. If you use that guy’s Roman Numerals technique (add up all the letters that have a value in Roman Numerals, e.g. V = 5, L=50, etc), the word “ELECTION” gives you 151. If you add the individual digits, you get 7. If you then take this away from Barack Obama’s birth-year (1961), you get 1954.

You tracking with me? Good…

Now, if you implement the Roman Numeral Technique above you get the following –

DEMOCRATIC = 171

CANDIDATE = 1011 (we’ll ignore the 0, giving 111)

BARACK = 100

HVSSEIN = (No ‘U’ in Latin, remember!) 6

OBAMA = 1000

Now if you add them all up, you get 1288. If you take that 1288 away from 1954, guess what you get?

666!!!!!!

This is incredible. Please tell all your Republican friends.

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THE HARD OF THINKING – The reason this works is not because it is in some way an amazing co-incidence, but because I spent all day trying to find a way to make it fit.

Try your own name!! You could be the Antichrist too!!

Is Barack Obama the Antichrist??

I wrote a blog a while back which talked about the sorry state of American politics and it generated a little flurry of visits at the time. I happened to mention Barack Obama in this blog and how he seems to me to have his head screwed on the right way. One person left the following comment:

“…It is prophesied that in the last days One World Church will rise up. That Church will be accepting of all religions (gods), homosexuals, abortion..etc. Everything will be acceptable. I just feel like God wants us to be prepared to be persecuted, to be sold out for Him. In every way. That speech Barack Obama wrote just reminded me of what the Anti-Christ will be like when he comes. Good looking, charming, eloquent, and can convince you of anything. I must tell you that I have never written anyone anything like this before but God just really pressed on my heart this warning. Just Be Careful. Pray for discernment.”

Now, I may not entirely agree with all the sentiments expressed here, but we had a little back-and-fore chat and we seemed to reach some common ground, so I was just going to drop the issue. But then I noticed something in my blog stats section. Almost every day I get hits on this page from people using the search terms “Barack Obama Antichrist”. I had no idea that this was such a prevalent idea.

Yeesh, guys. Look, the very fact that a lot of people don’t like the guy at all is as much as you need to disprove that little theory. If everyone is going to love and worship this guy, then I’d say it’s a fair bet it’s not Barack Obama, who is pretty well hated by a lot of folks. And supposing it IS him, it’s inevitable according to the Bible that he’s going to rise up anyway, so how’s about we just wait and see, eh?
Hey, you know it just occured to me that it might be Hilary Clinton! Good-looking a great orator, been wounded, trying to gain power… It’s all falling into place!!

My whole point in the original blog was just to say that what Barack Obama spoke about in his “Call to Renwal” speech made a lot of sense to me, that I quite like the guy and that America could do a lot worse that pick him as their leader. Let’s face it, they screwed up last time. I didn’t bargain for a slew of visitors with an End-Times axe to grind.
One thing I’m sure we can all agree on, regardless of our personal take on eschatology, is that George Bush is definitely NOT the antichrist: In addition to being handsome and intelligent, the antichrist is supposed to be worshipped the world over and be a military genius. Sorry George.