Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Best Story EVER!

After a long blogging hibernation, I felt I had to share this one with you all. I was listening to a podcast from my sister-in-law’s church in Charlotte NC when this story was told, which originated from her husband. I laughed very loudly and publicly when I heard it and I’m still giggling now…

There’s a youth pastor who’s gone to a pentecostal church event in Georgia. This youth pastor is particularly hefty. Just a really big guy. Anyway, the meeting is progressing as one would expect. Towards the end of the meeting, things are starting to heat up a bit and people are praying and casting out spirits and all sorts. One woman in particular is getting right into this. She’s calling out spirits and demons left, right and centre.

She walks up to the very large youth pastor and says, “Spirit of obesity, in the name of Jesus, I command you to come out right now!”

The youth pastor (a particularly sharp witted guy) puts on a demonic, raspy voice and says…

“I will for a cookie!”

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More Obama Antichrist Ranting: This is Getting RIDICULOUS.

Obama as viewed through Eschato-goggles

People, people…. I am getting seriously worried about some of you. Since my tongue-in-cheek “Is Barack Obama the Antichrist” post and my brazenly facetious numerology post, traffic to Mackle has been getting busier, up until a crazy explosion with the beginning of the primaries when my visits increased thirty-fold. As a Scot, I entered this whole field with the curious interest of an outside observer. What I’ve actually observed has been nothing short of terrifying.

The whole end-times/prophetic/eschatological guesswork obsession which is rife on Christian TV has obviously infiltrated the popular consciousness in a big way.

I include here a selection of my favourite soundbites from the comments on my assorted Obama blogs, complete with typos…

I strive to be ever so careful when discussing such issues and placing names. Still, when I see this guy, something sits “wierd” with me. (It could be the eccentric name) “

I have just spent the last 30 minutes reading posts about Barack being the antichrist… I thought the idea must be crazy, but my curiousity got the best of me and I did a quick Google search.”

“I never saw his face but only GEARD his words, and his voice and his tone and REALIZED that WTF this man is the antichrist. I never even knew Obama or who he was prior to that “

barack obama is a wierdo!! he resembles the anti christ! is there any way we can determine if he is or not?”

“It just so happens that Obama is the anti-christ. I believe so and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with any logic I have employed or any racist attitudes that I may have. Fact is, this man is the antichrist. It was weird how it was revealed to me …”

“…and here it is a year before elections and people already are set on him for president. Has that ever happen to a president before? NO…

“isn’t it said that the antichrist will die and then come back? well, isn’t his middle name hussein???”

“I don’t trust him one bit. I don’t for a second buy that he’s now “Christian.””

“Tonight the answer was right there in front of me. When he took the stage to give his Iowa Caucus Victory Speech he seemed cold and distant. “

“I had never heard of him before these elections, he has never really accomplished anything that I have been informed of, and to be perfectly honest, he has empty eyes, very empty eyes. I refuse to believe this man is a christian, I am a christian, that man is not.”

Oh, it goes on and on…

Look, folks. You may not like him. You may have racist attitudes you struggle with. You may have listened to too many end-times date-callers and watched too much TBN. You may think he’s creepy. You may think his policies are bad. You may think his haircut is bad. He may just give you the heebie-jeebies (as my wife feels!) but you can’t go around saying he’s not a christian and even more bizarrely claiming that he’s the Antichrist based on a combination of your Heebie-Jeebie feeling, your TBN habit and his Surname.

As a Christian, can I plead with the Christians on here to get on with loving God, living as salt and light, spreading the gospel and loving each other instead of getting hung up in eschatological craziness. Nobody knows who the Antichrist is – it hasn’t been revealed yet. In fact, who said it was a single person at all?? It could be a whole system, just as Babylon is a personified system. The point is that we have the victory in Christ, these things MUST happen (whoever they will involve and whenever they will occur) and calling dates, times, names and such just makes you look like idiots if you’re wrong, just as everyone who claimed to know who it was over the last 2000 years look like idiots now that it is apparent that they were talking nonsense.

Enough with the wild claims, people, and concentrate on living the life God called you to.

To quote Skank Bangerton (!!!!), the most profane commenter on my blog so far, and who added his nugget while I was composing this post…

Barack Obama may be the Antichrist. I doubt it.”

Theological Worldview Revisited!

This is weird. I sat the theological worldview quiz again, half expecting to get a quite different result to when I did it before. I still came out as an Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan (!!!)

Frankly I’ve never thought of myself in that way, but if I move down the list a bit, I wholeheartedly embrace being called a Neo-Orthodox Reformed Evangelical Fundamentalist Emergent. Woot!!

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan – 82%
Neo orthodox – 75%
Emergent/Postmodern – 68%
Fundamentalist – 64%
Reformed Evangelical – 64%
Classical Liberal – 43%
Roman Catholic – 32%
Charismatic/Pentecostal – 29%
Modern Liberal – 7%