Top Ten Reasons for Buying a PC, not a Mac

1. All your friends are doing it.
2. Solitaire is your crack cocaine.
3. You love the visceral knife-edge thrill of wondering if your app will remain stable until you save your work.
4. You think that processor power and RAM are better employed running Antivirus than on doing anything productive or useful.
5. You have had a designectomy.
6. You enjoy the irony of the phrase “Plug & Play”.
7. You want your new OS to have more available flavours then Baskin Robbins.
8. You would have to fill all that free deskspace with paperwork if all those cables weren’t there.
9. You only know how to delete forwards.
10. You want the free cupholder.

The New 486!!

Found this in a drawer in my classroom the other day…

Gasp in wonder at its 25mhz Intel 486 processor!

Flinch at its magnificent 4mb of RAM!

Marvel at its collosal 80 mb hard drive (yes, mb)!

Gaze upon its mighty 1mb video RAM!!

I shouldn’t mock too much, because in 1994, this was pretty impressive spec. Things have fairly moved on, though, huh?

“Delivering excellent graphics performance, it blazes through your windows applications at speeds of up to 28 million Winmarks!”

What the heck is a Winmark? Is that not the German Currency that was subject to hyperinflation in the 20s and became effectively worthless?

This German woman in 1923 is feeding Winmarks into a stove because it is more economical to burn her money than to buy a new 486 at a cost of £1139 ($2235).

Vista’s Next Generation Voice Recognition…

Yes, indeedy! Vista is here! Gasp at its incredible new voice-recognition feature!

Welcome to the future! Gurgle hindsight at trunk happiness sit!

Once again, the voice-recognition hoverboard fails to float. In fact, strangely enough, the only time this particular hoverboard has floated to any great extent was about 13 years ago  on the mac. Admittedly, the functionality was basic, but at least when you asked your computer to do something, it did it.

Mind you, as a PC owner running any kind of Microsoft software in Windows you should be quite used to things working not very well, if at all. I’ll stick to OS X Tiger if it’s all the same to you…